Where should I start lol. My walk started years and years ago! I did not come from a bad home but it was a broken home. Mom and dad divorced when I was about 10. Mom was a caring woman while dad was kind of non existent due to him working all the time.
I remember being in high school thriving for people to like me so I thought if I partied hard maybe they would "like" me. Unfortunately it was a stupid thing. So as i got out of school I worked several jobs, going out on weekends, taking advantage of women when God gave me my first wake up call by letting me get in a pretty bad wreck. I had been drinking and drove home and nearly died in a car wreck. My face was seriously busted up. I kind of straightened up but not for long. I started drinking again, drugs, the whole nine yards.
Later i would go on a 5 day cocaine run almost killing myself once again. But from that point I did stop the drug use, just not the alcohol abuse. I still went out, partying all the time. Then God would put me in front of the woman of my life. Shortly after we married and i was loving life. Not long after we would be blessed with our son Tanner!!!! We went from having nothing to gaining so much. A nice house, great cars and more. Bad thing is I had gotten to know God pretty well but when I got married my concentration went from God to my wife. I loved her so much and wanted her to love me the same. We slowly fell apart. We soon sold the house and got in a smaller home and this is where God really started trying to get my attention.
To make it short, my job got worst and financially we went thru some hard times. As we were at each others throat she woke me up one night at 2:30 or so in the morning screaming "Get up, the house is on fire". We lost everything that night but we were all safe. God was trying to get my attention and He did!!! Even after the fire we were broken into (the rental home while we were rebuilding) and got robbed of several items. We shortly had the house rebuilt only to get broken into AGAIN! We tried to start rebuilding our lives and it looked as if it was going to be ok. But not for long. We would end up sliding again only to end up separating from each other. She had lost all attraction to me and just hated me! I was devastated! She was seeing someone before we separated so I looked for anyone who would give me some attention and I found a woman pretty quick. We dated and then I had to go to AZ to work. Well that didnt help, I got back into my old ways and started drinking and living it up again. My life was so so empty. I would cry so many nights wanting my wife back. I begged God to just let me die and come home to Him. I was hopeless!!
After 6 months or so I ended back up in NC (home) and the girl I dated kept wanting me to move in with her and I did but it still was not what I wanted. I still loved my wife and needed her. Nobody was able to fill the same place in my heart as her. So what does God do? He puts me in the hospital! I thought I had the flu and went to the emergency room. They wanted to keep me overnight for observation. The last thing I remember is getting rolled down the hallway. The next day I would stop breathing and ended up in a drug induced coma AND being paralyzed by the doctors. I had a 25 to 30 percent chance of living. 2 weeks later i would wake up to see my mom and my exwife standing over me. She was crying saying "dont you ever do this to me again". I thought what did I do now, Ive been sleeping lol. It scared her because she thought I was going to die. This was my turning point!!!!!!!
As I woke up from what other people call this a travesty I realized I woke up from a blessing. I woke up a new man. I woke up a better man. I woke up a blessed man! There were still alot of issues I had after that but its all ok now. I know I HAVE to have God first in my life! All my problems and heartaches were only lessons God gave me and if I had to go thru them all again to get closer to my Father I WOULD!!!!!!
I still have bad nights but I am so blessed with a home, a car, a loving and wonderful son, a great friendly relationship with my ex. I even signed up for my first mission trip this year. I not only WANT to make a difference I NEED to make a difference! I want to do what God wants me to do. I want to spread my story to as many people as possible! I want to help people. I still have a lot to learn but I am so excited about this new life!!!