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Kevin Young
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STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by Kevin Young Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:26 am

Welcome to The Disciple Book Alliance's STATIC JEDI thread. This week we will continue the journey of becoming a Static Jedi. The goal of this Book Alliance is very simple…. we are here to read books together and "talk" about the book as we go. And by talk, I mean talk about anything you want. How did this chapter challenge you as a person, or as a Christian? How did it make you feel? Did you like it, or not like it? Are there changes that you are going to make in your life because of this chapter? What were your favorite parts of the chapter? etc, etc, etc. You get the idea. This thread is a way for us to read this book as a group together. We've all probably read books by ourselves, and we definitely get something out of it when do that. But when you read a book in a group setting, other people always bring out things about the book that I did not see… and are challenged in ways that I didn't even think about. So I end up being challenged more than I ever would have. Plus, whenever I read a book by myself, I never have anyone to talk about it with and say "oh man, I loved that part of the book." Well now we can!

So with that being said, let's continue this journey together of becoming a Static Jedi.

After you read Chapter 2, please post whatever thoughts you have about the chapter.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart - Prov. 3:5,6
Kevin Young
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by Kevin Young Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:00 am

Man! Really loved the part about God waiting on sons. I could sit and meditate on that for a long while. God has waited on me a lot in my life, whether I had left home, or if I was just on the other side of the door pouting because things didn't turn out the way I wanted. It feels good to be home.

The question at the end of the chapter asked "What is your "used to be" and "but"?

I used to be angry about who I was, but now I am wonderfully content with who I am.

I was not a cool kid. In Little League baseball, there was "Little League" (for the good players) and "Minor League" (for the not so good). I was Minor League. I tried out for the basketball team… didn't make it. I played on the football team… the one time I got in the game, the receiver I was guarding scored a touchdown. I quite possibly was the worst swimmer on the swim team… although one day God miraculously gave me the power to win a race… but only once. I was insecure to say the least. I tried to date the prettiest girls, not because I liked them, but because I was trying to make myself look better, because I was very unhappy with who I was. I sometimes could get pretty girls to go out with me… but not for long. I was skinny and wimpy. I was picked on constantly by bigger kids before "bullying" was a catchphrase that everyone stood united against on social media. I learned how to be angry very early. And if I was ever accused of doing something I didn't do…. the bomb would explode. I was never depressed and wanted to kill myself or anything like that. But make no mistake, I hated myself, and I hated everyone else too. Don't ever bully the little wimpy kid, because they will find a way to get you back if you make them angry enough. And when I look back on life, I can see that "getting people back" was the fuel in my gas tank for a long time…….

BUT Jesus taught me to be content with who I was and I who I am. As most of you know, I am the lead singer of Disciple. And getting to where we are today was not any easy road. I've learned to not care about being the best singer, or the best band, or be the "best" anything. That's the WORLD'S way of thinking. If you want to be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven you have to become the least. I have learned that the concerts when I have "lost my voice" and could barely speak, were the concerts that God has used me the most to bring people into the kingdom of God. Don't get me wrong. I want to be great. But not for me anymore… I want to be great for Him. I have learned that my life is not MY LIFE. My life belongs to Jesus. And He will not mess it up. When I am home on long breaks from the road, I often take side jobs at minimum wage. People always ask me why I do it. 1. To have a "little" (and I mean a little) extra money while we are off, and 2. Because I like it. I am content with myself. And I like hard work, and I like being normal. I like being around normal people with normal problems, and people who see me the same way. You see, I have finally discovered contentment. I have been a failure and I have been a success. But contentment wasn't found in either of those places for me. Contentment for me is found in knowing that I am following Christ, and that I am exactly where He wants me to be….. whether that's washing dishes at a Pizza Restaurant (which I was doing last Friday), or on stage with Disciple (which I was doing on Saturday).

I used to be angry at who I was, BUT now I am wonderfully content that I AM A CHILD OF GOD.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart - Prov. 3:5,6
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by S_arah Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:56 pm

STATIC JEDY finally arrived in Holland the other day! I’m glad that I can catch up and join you now.

First of all: I’m Sarah and I’m really addicted to all kinds of noise. I spend hours of my time checking Facebook and Skype is my best friend nowadays. I’m such a person who’s proud to have no smartphone cause “everyone is so addicted to it”, and at the same time I’m gleud to my laptop. I think that’s why I didn’t really like to read the first chapter of this book. At first.
I thought: Is it really that bad to have a few boxes of noise? Honestly, I don’t really feel like studying the Word after a long day of work. I just want to sit on the couch and watch tv when I’m tired.
But then I read: ‘But the walls God doesn’t like are those that stand between us and Him or that stand in front of where He wants us to go’. And that’s exactly what I needed to hear. I have a lot of walls around me and I think a lot of those walls are standing between me and God. So, there’s a lot of ‘work’ to do here!


Well, Let’s move to chapter 3 now.

I really like the part that says:
“In Christ you are a used to be. You used to be a sinner. But in Christ we are no longer sinners. We sin, but that is not our identity”

Even though I hear this more, I struggle a lot with this. I grew up in a really strict church where I had to obey a lot of rules: I had to wear skirts every Sunday and even during the week, for example. I even heard the pastor say to my mom that she couldnt be a child of God, cause she was wearing earrings and her hair was not long enough.
I heard my entire childhood in church that we are sinners our whole life and that we all are crawling worms before God.
When I was younger, I didn't even know that it was possible for me to get saved. I was told that you have to cry an ocean of tears in order to get saved.
I remember sitting behind my desk one time and prayed for tears, cause I didnt want to go to hell.

Later on I met some other people and God showed me His love and His mercy. And of course I sin. A lot! But I know that I’m clean through the blood of Jesus Christ.

But still it’s so hard for me to really understand my identity in Christ. I’m not even sure if I really believe that. Do you know what I mean? It’s hard.
But what I do know is that God is the giver of my faith in Him, the giver of hope, love and grace. And I know that He can and will help me with this. 

I love this book already, and Kevin, I also loved to read your story about your “used to be” and “but”.
Vrees niet, want Ik heb u verlost;
Ik heb u bij uw naam geroepen, gij zijt Mijn.



Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass
- Psalm 37:5 -
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by DaveIsLiving Tue Jan 21, 2014 1:42 pm

Wow. Really powerful stuff going on here already.

I guess my "journey home" each day was as boring and modern American as it gets. I would come home and immediately go to my room, stay there until dinner, and then go back for the rest of the night. There were moments of rage and yelling, but it was never really anything that left bruises. But there was also no mention of church, or Jesus, or God at all. Not that my family outright opposed the idea, it just wasn't something we did. Of course, I eventually did oppose the idea.

But that has changed so much. And I absolutely believe that God is still changing me. He is still changing my family. He is still changing my life; he may not be changing my circumstances, but he is changing everything else.

But man, despite that, it's so easy to still try to live in the old self. I still tell myself the same old things a lot of times. I tell myself I'm addicted to things. I tell myself that I'm still not good enough to accomplish certain things. I tell myself that I am not equipped to succeed in my workplace. But if Jesus is in me, he breaks all of those things. This is something I've known. But it's still a wake up call to hear it again.

That said, there are still some areas of my life that I need to start living more like a Christian. Even in the places that no one sees. I think we all have those. Those dark things hidden in our hearts that we cringe at the thought of anyone knowing. That we would hate to even be accused of. God is still concerned about the things that "aren't hurting anyone else." I need to believe that I can be different though. Because Christ died to save me, but also to make me different. To make me holy.


Going back to how growing up can be noise to us, I guess I was raised in noise. Didn't have church or any other real activities to focus on. So I lived in the noise. All of my time that was not spent on school or chores was spent in video games or wasting time on the internet. So that's still my first thought a lot of times. "Man, I just want to chill out and play some Madden, or Star Wars Battlefront."

I guess I used to be a bit of recluse. Because I used to hate myself. I definitely wasn't an athlete of any kind. I wasn't what the girls in school would consider "good looking." I didn't feel like I was good at anything. So all of the things that I've talked about combined, I used to be a very angry agnostic. To me, nothing made sense and I hated all of it. BUT. Now I am full of certainty that I know the truth. Now I know that my life is valuable. Now I am content (most of the time haha). It's so wonderful to know that God loves me. He knew what I would be like but still wanted to create me. He knew what I was going to be like but still suffered crucifixion for me. How can I not live differently knowing that?

Knowing that God loves me and has a good plan for me, I want nothing more than to make him happy. Sometimes I feel like I disappoint him. But every time it happens, I have to be like that son who climbed out of the pig pen and ran back.


Wow. Sorry for the novel guys. This one hit close to home.
Nick Fury: They'll come back.
Maria Hill: You really sure about that?
Nick Fury: I am.
Maria Hill: Why?
Nick Fury: Because we'll need them to.
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by Lainie Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:36 pm

I am oil and water with my family and I also hated myself growing up. Maybe if I got good grades, they'd be proud of me. Maybe if I learned to play piano, they'd spend time with me. Maybe if I played a sport, they'd come to a game. I was never good enough & I never fit in. I became a Christian at age 23 and then they referred to me as a "religious wacko." Whatever. They think my husband is the reason I "changed," so they blame him for everything. We spend as little time as possible with them because it hurts too much. I'm an adult now and I'm a great person whether or not they ever figure it out. They don't know who I am, and I'm ok with that as long as HE knows who I am. Took me a long time to get here and Satan still uses my parents to derail me when I'm on the right path. At least I recognize it! And I pray for them.

Noise (facebook, etc.) for me most of the time is a coping mechanism or avoidance of something else I have to (should) do. And there's always something else I should be doing. Why don't I ask Jesus to help me get things done? It's so logical!
The Disciple fan-mily are just the friends I haven't necessarily met yet :)
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by Jose Medina Tue Jan 21, 2014 5:15 pm

What an amazing chapter this was, I could not find the link under The Word, that's why I have not posted chapter 2, which I will after this lol I am taking this seriously :)

Anyhow, it was an amazing chapter, Oil and Water, and let me tell you guys, God speaks, and He does at the right time. I struggle with this in some areas in my life, where I want to be both oil and water. The density of the two are different, and loved how Eric said in life there are two kinds of people, Christians and non-Christians. I grew up in a religious home, and until this day, I am very grateful. Because of the seed that was put as a child, I now seek the Lord on my own terms, and have brought along my fiancé for the ride. I did separate from the church on my early years, I was maybe 17 or so, but after a few months, I came back, because I felt it in my heart the need for a Savior I once had. The noise that was behind me at the time was trying to fit in. I never fit in, like Kevin said also, because I was looked at as a wimp, or short, or just different. Since little, I have been moving to a lot of places, and to not make the post too long, I came to North Carolina, current state, on my Junior year of high school. This is the "prime" for most students, as the relationships are established, but I was alone, and I hated it. No prom, no friends really, and not cutting for the school soccer team. I distanced myself from the world, and yes, unfortunately God also. I was mad, but after not finding answers within myself, I seeked God, as I knew that He was real my whole life, and I chose to ignore Him. I thought He was so far away, little did I know that He was so near my heart, praise the Lord. In the words of Eric, this is where I started finding the ingredients for my stew, I got the reception that God was truly all I ever needed, and the rejection of the belief that I was enough.

During my time of being separated from God, I filtered my brain with stuff that was detrimental to my faith. To say the least, I came to North Carolina with the horrible habits I had picked up in Maryland. I listened to stuff that I thought made me "cool", and made me fit in, when in reality, it was a cover up, full of lies, and deception. I can now master that noise, and it starts now. I am speaking of music that I had that really was not the most positive message, nothing wrong with the whole "secular music", but when it reminds you of the person you were, and want to avoid, its best to WATCH IT BURN. Back to the beginning of this post, this is why God spoke to me at the right time, for Christmas, my fiancé bought me an iPod, and I have had the biggest headache because I don't know what to put in it because the old me is still on CDs that I still own, and to be honest, tonight is the night I do what's best, and will help with my journey with God, and not hurt, or remind me who I was. I am going to speak to my old self with actions, and not words. I was mixing oil with water, I was praising God through music on half my playlist, and getting a VERY negative message on life on the other. Tonight is the night I fully commit to just praising the Lord with what I listen to, and throwing out the leftover trash that I still had picking up dust in my life.

As the book said, we cannot control the rain, but we can control where it lands, and what better way than to start by protecting our hearts? I will love Jesus more than the noise, and I will pursue Him more than I have ever before. I once was lost, but now I'm found.

Yes, I sin, but my identity is not a sinner.

God Bless,

Jose
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by ECCENTRICSHEEP Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:19 pm

oil and water automatically makes think of work because I test oilfield chemicals in a laboratory, and they are either water soluble or oil soluble


I wish oreos had a bigger part in this chapter, I felt a little cheated when they got in a section name and barely got mentioned.


My inner noise is connected to my past noise for sure. Danielle's story of her father's struggle with alcohol, that's how my inner noise was created. I never realized it until last year. I made a post about this over in the serious posts section. But I've struggled with feeling like everyone hates me and doesn't want to be around me. Or that no one wants anything to do with me because I messed something up. It comes from my father when he didn't want to spend time with my mom, my brother and I because of whatever alcohol/drug thing it was...I thought it was my fault. I thought I wasn't perfect enough that day and now he doesn't want to spend time with me.

I want to be able to say "I use to let my negative learned inner noise rule me, but now I've overcome them"...I'm still working on it. Because I still have the inner struggle of feeling horribly lonely and pushing people away at the same time. I still don't like myself that much, but I always go back to how much God loves me when I feel those self destructive thoughts coming on. I'm better for sure I think. I know what I'm thinking isn't true, and even though I still react to those thoughts, I recover a lot quicker than I use to.


I use to think only cutting could make my pain go away, but now I know even when I have to deal with some storms, God is going to get me through it and its all temporary anyway.


Jesus is more powerful than all the wild dogs of depression that seek to consume my flesh every moment they can.
Last edited by ECCENTRICSHEEP on Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
THE ECCENTRIC SHEEP MUSINGS

TO THOSE IN THE FIGHT AGAINST DEPRESSION
http://jesuswired.com/eccentric-sheep-m ... epression/

SELF INJURY AWARENESS DAY POST
https://jesuswired.com/eccentric-sheep- ... ury-story/
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by sassy1506 Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:27 pm

ECCENTRICSHEEP wrote:I wish oreos had a bigger part in this chapter, I felt a little cheated when they got in a section name and barely got mentioned.


Me too! Oreos are very important in life. They're a staple in the teen bible study diet.



I've had trouble with being my brother's shadow. In middle school, I had a lot of my friends ditch me to trail along after my brother, so I kind of just became a loner. Now, my brother and I get along really well, and he wants me to have a social life, so he usually drags me along with him to football games, movies, and midnight bowling with his friends. A lot of times one of our mutual friends will stop and talk to him, and completely ignore the fact that I'm standing right next to him. Now, I'm a MAJOR introvert, so it drains me physically and mentally to be around people, and they don't even acknowledge my existence. So when I get home, I get really depressed and wonder how I'll ever be able to achieve anything in my life.

BUT, in the past year or two, I've realized that I need to simply trust that God will take my social awkwardness and introversion and make me what He wants me to be. I still struggle with negative feelings. But for the most part, I've gotten to be a lot more positive and trusting in God. I've still got a really long way to go, but I'm getting there.
-Sam

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" -James 4:7
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by ECCENTRICSHEEP Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:37 pm

sassy1506 wrote:I've had trouble with being my brother's shadow.


My brother was more social and popular than me in school so I was not always called by my name, sometimes I was just Tim's sister lol.
THE ECCENTRIC SHEEP MUSINGS

TO THOSE IN THE FIGHT AGAINST DEPRESSION
http://jesuswired.com/eccentric-sheep-m ... epression/

SELF INJURY AWARENESS DAY POST
https://jesuswired.com/eccentric-sheep- ... ury-story/
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by Hannahgk Tue Jan 21, 2014 11:35 pm

I loved this chapter.
This is some of my past noise. So my parents got divorced when i was about 12 (I'm 16 now), and they both got remarried soon afterwards. And things were going well for a while, and i started going to a new church and stuff. I went to the youth group there and really loved going, and it helped me to grow in my faith. Recently the youth leader went to pastor a church in another state, and most of my friends from there have switched youth groups or graduated. And my step dad left a few months ago, due to issues with his kids and ex wife. So a lot of change has happened, and I've never really done well with change, even if I know it's for the better. So I let a lot of bitterness, and anger in, and that just made me mad at myself. I was a Christian when this stuff happened, but I wasn't pursuing God more than the noise. Which is why I love how he mentioned the prodigal son, and the fathers point of view, waiting for us.
So my "but".... I realize that Jesus died for my anger and bitterness, and that no matter what I think about myself, I'm Gods child. And I'm trying to trust Him more everyday, because he is trustworthy and so faithful in everything.
Last edited by Hannahgk on Fri Jan 24, 2014 6:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Psalm 139:13-14<3
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by sassy1506 Wed Jan 22, 2014 8:07 am

ECCENTRICSHEEP wrote:
sassy1506 wrote:I've had trouble with being my brother's shadow.


My brother was more social and popular than me in school so I was not always called by my name, sometimes I was just Tim's sister lol.


I'm always Mike's sister....


Hannahgk wrote:So a lot of change has happened, and I've never really done well with change, even if I know it's for the better.


Change sucks. If anyone actually handles change well, they should get a medal.
-Sam

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" -James 4:7
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by JoshuaR Wed Jan 22, 2014 8:07 pm

“In Christ you are a “used to be.” You used to be a sinner. But in Christ we are no longer sinners. We sin, but that is not our identity.”

This line spoke to me the most! I haven't read any other comments so I'm not sure if anyone else covered this or if they have different opinions, but God had me read this several times over and over. When reading silently, I could HEAR the words enter my ears, brain and my heart. I've viewed myself as a sinner and unworthy and ashamed. I was overwhelmed from the guilt ad embarrassment of my constant sins and thought, on judgement day, God would only see my sins. I thought he would look at me and be like, "really? You are far from worthy to even stand before me." It surrounded my mind and heart for so long because I thought that was who I was basically and that's what He would see. But reading this over and over brought me to tears. I was a sinner before I had Jesus in my heart. And now that He is here, that's not who I am anymore. I do sin and I want to control it more but I know I am more than that. I know Jesus will see me on judgement day and not look at me in anger, but with a huge loving smile and I know He will see who I am.

Of course there was much more to the chapter, but this one line meant so much to me and spoke loudly.
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by WanderingStar Wed Jan 22, 2014 10:41 pm

The short version of my "used to be" is that I was raised in hyper-legalistic, isolated, often abusive circumstances that taught me shame from the time I was very small, which meant self-hate became the guiding force of my life. Cutting was my slave master, and I bent my life completely around that habit. I wrestled with an eating disorder, struggled with severe depression and anxiety that made it impossible for me to even go to public places for a long time, and eventually planned my suicide. And then Jesus found me, called my name, and invited me home.

I have a tattoo on each of my wrists. One says "love," and the other is the Greek word for "grace." These two words are my identity now, because they capture who Christ is in my life and who He calls me to be in response. I still hear "noise" from my past at times, but everything is different. My story is a work in progress, but good grief y'all, God is GOOD.


Jose Medina wrote:As the book said, we cannot control the rain, but we can control where it lands, and what better way than to start by protecting our hearts? I will love Jesus more than the noise, and I will pursue Him more than I have ever before. I once was lost, but now I'm found.

Beautiful, beautiful words-- I'm saying a prayer for you as you seek to clear out that "noise" to hear Him better.

Kevin Young wrote:When I am home on long breaks from the road, I often take side jobs at minimum wage. People always ask me why I do it. 1. To have a "little" (and I mean a little) extra money while we are off, and 2. Because I like it. I am content with myself. And I like hard work, and I like being normal. I like being around normal people with normal problems, and people who see me the same way. You see, I have finally discovered contentment. I have been a failure and I have been a success. But contentment wasn't found in either of those places for me. Contentment for me is found in knowing that I am following Christ, and that I am exactly where He wants me to be….. whether that's washing dishes at a Pizza Restaurant (which I was doing last Friday), or on stage with Disciple (which I was doing on Saturday).

Kevin, can I just say that this both blessed and convicted me pretty hardcore? That kind of perspective is incredibly grounded and encouraging. Since my two jobs are currently music journalism and then barely above minimum wage food service... sometimes I struggle with thinking one gives me my worth and the other takes away from it. Both of which are totally false. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and this truth-- it strengthened me. :)
- Mary

"Is it OK to not know, not have the answers, and simply be someone who is searching for Someone to save me?"

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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by stacfo Thu Jan 23, 2014 8:35 pm

BUT Jesus taught me to be content with who I was and I who I am. As most of you know, I am the lead singer of Disciple. And getting to where we are today was not any easy road. I've learned to not care about being the best singer, or the best band, or be the "best" anything. That's the WORLD'S way of thinking. If you want to be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven you have to become the least. I have learned that the concerts when I have "lost my voice" and could barely speak, were the concerts that God has used me the most to bring people into the kingdom of God. Don't get me wrong. I want to be great. But not for me anymore… I want to be great for Him. I have learned that my life is not MY LIFE. My life belongs to Jesus. And He will not mess it up. When I am home on long breaks from the road, I often take side jobs at minimum wage. People always ask me why I do it. 1. To have a "little" (and I mean a little) extra money while we are off, and 2. Because I like it. I am content with myself. And I like hard work, and I like being normal. I like being around normal people with normal problems, and people who see me the same way. You see, I have finally discovered contentment. I have been a failure and I have been a success. But contentment wasn't found in either of those places for me. Contentment for me is found in knowing that I am following Christ, and that I am exactly where He wants me to be….. whether that's washing dishes at a Pizza Restaurant (which I was doing last Friday), or on stage with Disciple (which I was doing on Saturday).


Thanks so much for being so stinkin' REAL. Because you keep encouraging us, there is this awesome gathering of folks that feel like they are a bunch of square pegs out there, yet seem to fit so well together because we met here. Mary- I'm in love with your brain. Lanie- your dry wit is to die for. Brooklyn - I will never forget that hat. Steph- I loved meeting you at the cd release show and you are a musical genius. Stac- You are a gift from God, and you know why. Sheepy: your strength gives me more in return every day. It's more of a gift than you know. BTW, I was at one of your "almost lost your voice" shows, and yet you managed to preach a message that went straight to the heart of a 19 year old girl I had drug along with me and totally rocked her world that night. She has since fully gotten her life in order and is chasing after God like a wild woman! Thanks for answering the call, and sticking with it. Thanks for singing the songs that say what I can't seem to. And finally, dude- I have seen pics of your wife and you totally got the prize :mrgreen:
My steps are established by the Lord, and He delights in my way. When I fall, I will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds my hand. Psalm 37:23-24
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by stacfo Thu Jan 23, 2014 8:48 pm

DaveIsLiving wrote:That said, there are still some areas of my life that I need to start living more like a Christian. Even in the places that no one sees. I think we all have those. Those dark things hidden in our hearts that we cringe at the thought of anyone knowing. That we would hate to even be accused of. God is still concerned about the things that "aren't hurting anyone else." I need to believe that I can be different though. Because Christ died to save me, but also to make me different. To make me holy.


I think these are the hardest ones to defeat. Because it's just me and God, and until we get home, we really don't have to say it to His face. But, oh boy, I dread that day. I ask myself how am I going to be able to look Him in the face? Makes me love Jesus all the more, simply because I look at my life, and come up so short.

We can tell ourselves so many times that it isn't hurting anyone else. Just me. Yet, how much did it affect it what God had planned for me to do? What if He had something awesome planned for me, and I blew it, so He gave it to someone else? Something to remind myself alot, because I'm tired of just being mediocre in the kingdom.
My steps are established by the Lord, and He delights in my way. When I fall, I will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds my hand. Psalm 37:23-24
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by stacfo Thu Jan 23, 2014 9:16 pm

ECCENTRICSHEEP wrote:I want to be able to say "I use to let my negative learned inner noise rule me, but now I've overcome them"...I'm still working on it. Because I still have the inner struggle of feeling horribly lonely and pushing people away at the same time. I still don't like myself that much, but I always go back to how much God loves me when I feel those self destructive thoughts coming on. I'm better for sure I think. I know what I'm thinking isn't true, and even though I still react to those thoughts, I recover a lot quicker than I use to.


ditto that.
My steps are established by the Lord, and He delights in my way. When I fall, I will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds my hand. Psalm 37:23-24
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by Kevin Young Fri Jan 24, 2014 5:28 am

stacfo wrote:BTW, I was at one of your "almost lost your voice" shows, and yet you managed to preach a message that went straight to the heart of a 19 year old girl I had drug along with me and totally rocked her world that night. She has since fully gotten her life in order and is chasing after God like a wild woman! Thanks for answering the call, and sticking with it. Thanks for singing the songs that say what I can't seem to.


Ok, that made me cry. still crying

stacfo wrote:And finally, dude- I have seen pics of your wife and you totally got the prize :mrgreen:


Yeah, we were actually set up. So she is more like a gift than a prize. And thank God she had pity on me and went out with me again. As a matter of fact, thank God to all the women of the world who have had pity on us lesser men….. the human race would cease to exist if you didn't.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart - Prov. 3:5,6
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by TFK_disciple_fan Fri Jan 24, 2014 1:39 pm

ECCENTRICSHEEP wrote:I want to be able to say "I use to let my negative learned inner noise rule me, but now I've overcome them"...I'm still working on it. Because I still have the inner struggle of feeling horribly lonely and pushing people away at the same time. I still don't like myself that much, but I always go back to how much God loves me when I feel those self destructive thoughts coming on. I'm better for sure I think. I know what I'm thinking isn't true, and even though I still react to those thoughts, I recover a lot quicker than I use to.


I'm definitely in the same boat. I'm so glad that I"m not the only one here still struggling with this. I struggle so much with my self worth that most of the time I hate the person that God made me. I've been bullied most of my life and due to that I tend to question why God would create someone that no one wants to be around. Even my "friends" at church would often make jokes about me or ignore me for someone else because they are "cool". And those are the ones that hurt the worst because church is supposed to be a place where you are accepted not because of who you are but what Christ did for you, but it seems like the opposite is true in today's church culture. Recently I've gotten to the point that I tend to not want to make new friends because I'm afraid that they will judge me and abandon me just like everyone else I ever knew did. I'll admit that I've started battling with depression once again, and though this time I haven't been considering suicide, it's miserable nonetheless. I want to say that once I was...but I haven't gotten there. At least yet.
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by Nicole94 Fri Jan 24, 2014 2:20 pm

This chapter came right when I needed it to, and rocked me straight to the core. I had foot surgery last Friday, and the pain medication I was taking made me drowsy so I wasn't able to do any reading. Getting back to class has been really rough, and it pains me to say that the last couple of days I gave in to the noise so that I could deal with the pain. I told myself I deserved to watch tv for hours if I wanted to because I had walked to all of my classes and my foot was screaming in pain. I knew that God was calling for me to spend that time with him, to get into this book and to get back to the bible study on here that I've followed closely the past two weeks, but honestly I ignored him. I was frustrated. Frustrated that I had to have surgery on my foot, that it had to happen during the school year, and that I was in so much pain when I was just trying to be a good student. Man did this chapter open my eyes. Jesus was and is the only one who can truly help me cope with the pain of getting to class. Even though my life is currently full of pain-laiden rain, Jesus is there just waiting for me to let him be my covering. I've now gone running back into his arms, and although I realize that recovery will still be a slow and possibly painful process, He will be right there covering me and holding my hand the entire time.

I grew up in a Christian home, and I feel very blessed in that regard. My parents are wonderful examples of a marriage that is God-focused, strong, and full of love for each other and my 3 siblings and I. I was a Christian at 4, baptized at 6, and involved in everything I could that the church made available for kids. I followed Christ with all my heart, listened to Christian music, and did daily devotions both with my family and on my own. I was highly introverted as a child though, so I had a hard time socially before high school. I had friends that I loved to be around, but they were few and I still had doubts as to whether or not I actually belonged. I have a really hard time liking myself. I am very self-critical, and sometimes I find myself hating how I look, my personality, everything about myself. When that noise consumes me, God is by my side so quickly. The Holy Spirit loudly repeats in my head, "You are beautiful, you are loved, you are mine. I will never leave you, you were made for me and you are infinitely beautiful to me." That is also when the lyrics to "After the World" by Disciple run through my head. That song has pulled me out of more self-destructive thoughts and thrown me into the arms of Jesus than I can count. So thanks Kevin for that song, and all of the others for that matter, because they mean so much to me. Music is a huge part of my life. I used to listen to Christian Contemporary, but one day my mom brought home Disciple's self-titled album, and let's just say that I never looked back. I love my rock and metal bands that sing about Jesus. I go to concerts whenever any of my favorite bands are within a decent driving distance. Going to a concert for me is a worship experience, a chance to rock out with my favorite bands and praise my heavenly father at the same time. That being said, I always have lyrics in my head, and when different things happen certain lyrics pop up. This has helped me keep my focus on God when the noise threatens to pull me away, a constant reminder that he is right there.

I am so glad that Jesus is bigger than my pain, my self-image, and my excuses to not spend time with him. The fog from the past week has cleared, and the noise is coming back down.
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Re: STATIC JEDI CHAPTER 3

by ECCENTRICSHEEP Fri Jan 24, 2014 6:43 pm

TFK_disciple_fan wrote:Even my "friends" at church would often make jokes about me or ignore me for someone else because they are "cool". And those are the ones that hurt the worst because church is supposed to be a place where you are accepted not because of who you are but what Christ did for you, but it seems like the opposite is true in today's church culture. Recently I've gotten to the point that I tend to not want to make new friends because I'm afraid that they will judge me and abandon me just like everyone else I ever knew did. I'll admit that I've started battling with depression once again, and though this time I haven't been considering suicide, it's miserable nonetheless. I want to say that once I was...but I haven't gotten there. At least yet.


I've connected better with the crowd that's older than me at church personally. Like the adults with older kids or kids out of the house. My youth group felt like another species, and honestly the kids that age still seem a bit foreign to me. Don't ever give up on the church. I went to a few that I just didn't connect with through childhood and college. But eventually I found one that I can be myself and there's people that love me for me and I know will be there if I need them. I'm the same person I've always been too, just a little more hopeful than I use to be.

I've haven't had any friends I hang out with since I moved over 5 years ago, so Disciple Alliance is my group of friends lol.

I've got my depression battles over here too so you're not alone, hang in there *hugs*.
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TO THOSE IN THE FIGHT AGAINST DEPRESSION
http://jesuswired.com/eccentric-sheep-m ... epression/

SELF INJURY AWARENESS DAY POST
https://jesuswired.com/eccentric-sheep- ... ury-story/
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